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"Caught in the Crossfire "Written By: Miss Murdered Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters –
am just borrowing to torment for my amusement Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Swearing, yaoi, violence, hints of long
past NCS Pairings: Primarily 3x2, past/presentish 1x2,
past 3x4 and 1x3 Summary: When Trowa's nephew is threatened by
the ruthless father who abandoned him, Trowa needs help in order to
fight back and protect both Catherine and the little boy. Things get
complicated when both Shinigami and the Perfect Soldier come to his
aid as the three men must discover where they stand with each other
while they work out a way to protect Trowa's family. "Caught in the Crossfire " Chapter Seven Secrets Revealed Waking up in a strange room was not that disorientating. Trowa had spent so much of his life moving that he was used to waking up in a different place every few days. Never having had a concept of home, it didn't matter that he moved from any location quickly and found himself in another country, another town, another place entirely. But now he was disorientated, his head throbbed as he sat up in a strange bed and then figured out the events that had preceded it. Duo was going to pay. The alcohol shouldn't have done that much - Duo had brought it out after Trowa's revelation that he wanted Nabokov dead and he didn't care how it was done. He didn't care if it was violent or bloody or damn nasty. It was all about ensuring that he could never touch Eli, who had been sleeping down the hall with his mother soundly for the first time in days. The grogginess was entirely alcohol induced and he almost wanted to laugh at how pathetic he'd become. He used to have a very high threshold but then he'd spent years travelling with the circus and that time did not facilitate drinking to excess like his time in mercenary groups and working with engineers on L3 building Heavyarms. Maybe he just shouldn't have accepted alcohol from Duo - it was probably stronger than anything he usually consumed and he hadn't really paid attention to the quantities that were being poured. On sitting up in the small room, his headache only increased and he looked around the room he'd last slept in when he was still with Quatre and the whole situation made him even more disorientated. Taking him back eight years. He swore to not damn drink with Duo again. He glanced to the clock next to the bed and saw that at least he'd not been out for too damn long. It was only 8.04 a.m. Trowa dressed, throwing on jeans and a clean t-shirt, and went in search of breakfast to placate the slight nauseous feeling in his stomach. As he left the room, he thought about the conversations of last night. Maybe he'd needed the alcohol and maybe Duo knew that. That he wasn't used to being in Duo's company and he could count the conversations he'd had with him on one hand. It wasn't due to any feelings of dislike on either of their parts, it was just... they'd never had opportunity to connect. Last night he'd found that Duo was perhaps different than the boy he'd remembered. Or maybe he'd just never known the boy he'd been. His memories of Duo were all around Peacemillion when things were hazy anyway, his amnesia and the heat of battle warping anything that he could define as a memory into something indistinct. He remembered the noises from Deathscythe's cockpit with embarrassment, that really his only memories of Duo revolved around the fact that he was having sex with Heero rather than anything else. His only other memory that was clear was holding him and pushing him into the cell on L3-X18999 after Heero's sucker punch and how much he'd felt like a ragdoll in his arms. How someone so proud and bright eyed and trusting had been overpowered and betrayed. It wasn't a memory that he felt comfortable revisiting. Then anything that had happened post-war was blinded by memories of Quatre and his presence in those moments. And he was even less comfortable thinking about that. It had been a sombre conversation, Duo sharing all the information that his contact had managed to uncover and Trowa added in anything else he knew. That Nabokov's main residence was located in the countryside out of Moscow but was a large and imposing building that would be difficult to infiltrate. Duo had raised his eyebrows. "You really don't know what I've been doin' the last eight years if ya think that will be a problem." Trowa had taken a sip of his drink as Duo explained his current occupation and it made sense why he'd dropped off the grid. "You're a hit man," Trowa said bluntly. "I'm employed to get rid of problems," Duo clarified. "Sometimes that involves killing people. I take the jobs I get offered." He'd wanted to ask why. That after all they'd fought for, all the death that they'd caused, all the things that they'd seen that Duo had ended up killing for money. He thought he preferred the ideas he'd harboured before - that yeah, he knew Duo was a criminal at the very least but he'd figured something less bloody. Smuggling maybe. Gun running. Drugs even. "And Heero?" Duo had shrugged overly dramatically and sighed. "Heero does whatever the fuck Heero does. He keeps my ass outta trouble electronically and I give him a percentage of my work but that ain't all he does. Never figured out what else he's doing. Sometimes I think he must be all working for the Princess in some kinda On Her Majesty's Secret Service bullshit thing. Fuck knows." There had been awkward silence then, Trowa remembered, downing what remained in his glass as he observed Duo, the way his eyes were harder. "Look... you want him dead, right? Then you called the right people. I won't work on anything else until that fucker's dead." "You know I can't pay you." Duo laughed at him and this time it actually sounded like there was a hint of humour there. "Yeah, I'd call you my charity case but instead let's just say I'm doing this pro-bono. A good deed for my shitty karma. I don't expect any of the cash back, ya know. Just felt right to help you out." The conversation, though hazy due to the hangover, was clear enough and he remembered that they would make a plan in the morning with Heero of how to deal with Nabokov. It wasn't the most fun thought to wake up to - thinking like a soldier again, thinking strategy and how to defeat the enemy. It had been ten years since he'd thought like that. Yet he knew those instincts were still there. After all, those ragtag mercenaries were dead on the floor of a forest. He left the bedroom and found his way to the kitchen where Catherine was standing with a cup of coffee, relaxed against the kitchen counters. She acknowledged him but for some reason didn't speak - which was unusual. Trowa was usually that one that did not talk but then he realised why she was silent as he heard the conversation that was coming from the living area of the apartment. He quietly made coffee from the supplies left out on the counter, grabbing a bagel at the same time and he hoped starchy food would alleviate the queasy feeling in his stomach. As he ate he listened with Catherine to the conversation that was happening in the living room. "... yeah, this one is a Space Leo..." "They're the same as that one?" "Yeah, just made for space combat. Pretty easy to defeat, you know, but when there's a load 'a them they could be kinda tough. Also depended if there was a good pilot because the machine can be as awesome as you like but put a bad pilot in it... and well... it ain't much good." "Uncle Trowa was a good pilot?" "One of the best, kiddo. You ask him." Trowa, coffee in hand, walked into the room and saw the scene in the living room. The television screen was on but the cartoon, something involving star fields and space that seemed unrealistic on first glance, was being ignored for the action figures scattered on the floor and the packaging that had been discarded haphazardly. They'd spent a long time teaching Eli to put toys away and to not clutter places - as they always moved and they lived in small confined spaces it was an important lesson - but now he sat cross legged with Duo and a load of little mobile suit replicas all lined up. He glanced back towards Catherine through the open door, surprised that she had approved this discussion. They'd spent so long hiding Trowa's background, making him just his "normal" quiet uncle rather than the Gundam pilot he had been and now he was being told about different models of mobile suits by someone else. He supposed it was probably better from Duo - that he'd make it sound cool and fun compared to how Trowa would talk about the war. Duo glanced up and met Trowa's eye, unfurled his limbs from the awkward position he'd been in on the floor and rose to his feet. "Just been talking about mobile suits. Kid wanted to know about 'em." Eli turned, bright eyed, and peered over the couch. "Did you really pilot a Gundam?" For years, he'd pretended that he no longer had that part of himself. That he hadn't killed hundreds with a spray of bullets or the slice of a blade. That he didn't know how to elbow someone hard enough in the solar plexus to knock them out or even kill them. That he didn't know where to kill someone instantly with a knife blade but the peace time Trowa had disappeared the night that Nabokov's men had tried to kidnap Eli. And the look in Eli's eyes was not the one of fear that he'd had when he'd taken him from that forest dripping in blood. He looked like he was a hero again. Not just the uncle he idolised for fixing things and the trapeze act and the animal taming but for being a pilot. "Yeah." The answer was simple but there was a look that said he was impressed. Though they may have hidden that Trowa was a Gundam pilot, the Gundams themselves were part of myth and television shows and books so Eli knew enough. "I need to talk to Duo." It wasn't a phrase he thought he'd ever say and Duo just gave him a quizzical expression that was far more reminiscent of the fifteen year old kid he'd known - not the hit man he'd sat drinking alcohol with last night, talking about how to kill a guy and why he wanted him dead. They went to the room he'd slept in, that spare room and office combo, and Duo closed the door. "Hey... man," Duo started, "I didn't mean to overstep anything here... but Cathy gave me permission to tell him stuff... I mean, she totally had already told him that you were Gundam pilot as the kid was having nightmares and shit. He needed to know who we were so that he knew we could protect him..." Trowa knew his face was unreadable - that Catherine teased him when he went like that - that no one could see his feelings and she would knock lightly on his head. "Knock, knock, Trowa. Gotta give me some clue to what's going on in there." And Duo wouldn't know how he felt. He was more clueless than Catherine. He wasn't Eli's father and he had never tried to be. That wasn't his role but then he didn't have to like the damn fact that he'd not been able to tell Eli about the war. Even if he still harboured conflicted feelings. Even if he regretted some of his actions. Even if those memoires were muddled and confused by his time with Quatre and the after effects of the battle with him in Wing ZERO. "He needs to know that he's safe and what better way than explaining he's got three former Gundam pilots on the case, you know?" Trowa nodded slowly and took another sip from his coffee, the bitter liquid helping to remove the cloudy feeling in his head a little. "Catherine tried for so long to hide it." "All secrets come out in the end, I guess," Duo said and they stood in silence looking at one another. Trowa had things he wanted to say but all he could do was shrug and agree. It would've come out eventually, Duo was right. "I'm gonna relieve Heero. He needs to sleep even if he doesn't believe he does. Maybe you can talk to him... he might listen to you as he's spent the last ten years fucking ignoring me." "I don't think Heero ever listened to any of us." Duo laughed softly yet it didn't seem to have any humour in it. Trowa had noticed that each time he laughed or smiled the expression never reached his eyes and he couldn't help but feel there was something more there. Maybe more than they discussed last night. "Yeah, though I kinda think he listened to you more than me," he paused as he opened the door to leave. "And Tro', talk to the kid. I mean, I'm not telling you what you should do as he's your nephew and all... but I think he needs to know." "He needs to know what?" "That we were fucking heroes. That you were a hero and that you will do anything to protect him." With those parting words he left and Trowa watched his departure, the braid swaying behind him as he went. He took a moment, finishing the coffee, the cheap taste bland in his mouth and went back to see Eli sitting on the floor still, seemingly disappointed with Duo's disappearance. It wasn't that surprising that the kid already liked him. Despite the haunted look behind the eyes, Duo still had that friendly charisma that people automatically gravitated to and Trowa knew that Eli would respond to it. Just as Trowa had last night. He sat on the floor, sweeping aside the plastic packaging and picked up a Taurus replica. There were no Gundams among them and Trowa vividly remembered a torturous trip around a large store to buy baby products when Catherine was heavily pregnant with Eli and seeing a shelf display of tiny replicas of each Gundam. His fingertips had traced the Heavyarms one, feeling the tiny indents of the model and remembering briefly that feeling of being behind the controls of a Gundam. That complete power trip and the thrill of it. It was something he'd not felt since that fateful night when those men had tried to take Eli away, when he'd taken lives for the first time in years. He knew Eli was no longer terrified of him but he still seemed skittish. His eyes tended to seek out Catherine - just as he did now - and Trowa turned to see that she had come into the room, standing and watching them. Her two boys, she'd say, with that little smile. That's what she said at the circus all that time ago. And even at twenty six she still attempted to baby him at times. Trowa picked up a small replica of a Taurus and he felt Eli's eyes on him and it was at those times he looked very much like Catherine. Not at all like Alexei - completely his mother's son. He was used to letting people start conversations but when Eli looked at him expectantly he knew had to start - that Eli was far too much like him anyway. "Duo tell you what this one was?" "To-us," he said, slipping over the word a little. "They were used in space." "Yeah." He put it down on the carpet and picked up a Leo remembering learning to pilot such a machine at only a little bit older than Eli was now. He'd been barely seven by the time he'd fully piloted Leos in his days as a merc. Before that, he'd spent his time scrambling over them, climbing over them, helping with the repairs. It was a totally different life to the one Catherine had tried to create for Eli. "It's okay to be scared... sometimes we need to be scared as it protects us. Remember how the lions reacted if someone unfamiliar approached?" Eli nodded and reached for the stuffed toy, Leo, the name now seeming ironic as they talked about mobile suits. "They show their fangs." "That's because they are scared and threatened. They want to attack as that's the way they defend themselves." "You attacked those men because you were scared?" The simple answer was yes. That he was scared what would happen to Eli if he was with the father that they had been fighting through the courts - scared what a man would do who was willing to kill Catherine without a second thought. "I was." "You're not scared of anything." Trowa could only let a small smile cross his face. He probably looked like that - high wire trapeze act, climbing up rigging within the circus tents without giving a damn about his own safety and being the only one who seemed to be able to control the big cats of the circus. That was without his entire lack of fear when Catherine threw knives at him - something that Eli hadn't seen since he was a confused toddler. All those things didn't scare him. Death had never truly scared him - that death meant little to him during the war or before that. Quatre had tried to make him see the value of life in those unsure days after the wars but then that had faded. Maybe Eli's birth had made him see the value of life again. That being there at the moment of birth rather than the moment of death like he'd been so many damn times in his life had changed his perspective. "I was scared of losing you," Trowa replied softly. Eli had avoided most physical contact with him since the day in the forest - not that he'd been overly physically affectionate to anyone but his mom - and Trowa rarely encouraged it but when he crawled over to give him a hug, he accepted it less awkwardly than he would've in the past. "I wanna know about the wars!" Trowa looked over to Catherine who smiled like she'd not smiled in the days since leaving the circus and the attempted kidnapping and she left, walking down to the master bedroom that she and Eli had slept in, leaving them alone. He thought that Duo would do this better - his memories less clouded and it would be more entertaining. That he'd maybe make it sound cooler, there would probably be actions and sound effects but he shrugged as Eli let go and moved to sit cross legged in front of him, and Trowa reached for the remote to turn off the cartoon playing, now forgotten anyway. "What do you want to know?" The questions were too many then. What was his Gundam like? Did he fight in space? Did stuff explode? Did he use guns? Trowa answered them as best as he could - describing Heavyarms in ways that made him think of his time behind the controls of a Gundam more than he'd thought of in years, thinking of space battles but avoiding the memories of his fight with Quatre. It was only after a while he registered that there was someone else in the room and he saw Heero was standing there, listening to Trowa's explanations of the war and his own small role in it. He'd not seen Heero since he'd turned up all those years ago at the circus - broken and in need of repair once again. That time it was because of whatever happened on that mission in Rio with Duo and the unspoken events that had taken place. "This is Heero. He piloted a Gundam." Trowa could see the tension in Heero's body - that as Duo had said, "he don't do well with kids" - but then there seemed to be a little hint of curiosity. He had been watching their interaction after all. "Hi," Eli said, the shyness returning. "Hey," Heero replied. "Duo wants you to get some sleep." Heero snorted under his breath. "Duo told me that." He didn't make any comment as Heero went to the room where Trowa had slept last night, the bed that he'd slept in unmade as he'd not bothered to do anything more than get out of it with the feeling of fuzziness in his head. It didn't matter sharing sheets when two people had slept together even if it hadn't meant more than a convenient fuck to forget things. With Heero gone, he turned back to Eli who was quiet again and seemed to be thinking. Trowa took the opportunity to turn back on cartoons and sit down on the couch and watch badly drawn space battles flicker across the screen as he contemplated the past he'd tried to forget and the future he had to protect.
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